You Know It's the Network Age When...
- You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
- You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
- Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
- You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
- Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.
- You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains echinacea.
- You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
- Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
- You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
- Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
- The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
- Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
- You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
- Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
- Your idea of being organized is multi-colored Post-it notes.
- You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
- You're reading this.
- Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.