You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When ...

  • Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket.
  • Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face.
  • PMS lasts all month.
  • Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.
  • "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now "Are you finished yet?!"
  • He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.
  • Dildos, S & M, menage ... anything to break the monotony.
  • You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to keep up.
  • Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.
  • Two weeks no orgasm.
  • Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still don't miss it.
  • When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back.
  • You'd rather spend quality time with your vibrator.
  • The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.
  • You let one rip in your sleep and don't care if he hears.


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