You Know the Honeymoon Is Over When ...
- Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs the blanket.
- Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face.
- PMS lasts all month.
- Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.
- "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now "Are you finished yet?!"
- He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.
- Dildos, S & M, menage ... anything to break the monotony.
- You used to walk hand in hand, now you run to keep up.
- Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.
- Two weeks no orgasm.
- Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still don't miss it.
- When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back.
- You'd rather spend quality time with your vibrator.
- The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.
- You let one rip in your sleep and don't care if he hears.