You Know You Work for the Government If...
- When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose your best jokes.
- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
- Computer specialists know less about computers than your teenager.
- Lunch is like another scheduled meeting, only shorter.
- You see a good looking person and know they are a visitor.
- Management thinks a business trip with uncompensated mandatory weekend travel is a perk.
- Although you have a telephone, pager, E-mail, FAX, company distribution, Fed-X, US mail and coworkers sitting right on the other side of the partition...communication is a continuing problem.
- You know, and everyone that works with you knows, your performance is superior, but "satisfactory" is the highest level on the documented performance rating.
- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
- When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be someone else's problem; when management screws up they are promoted.
- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up" and "I have an opportunity for you."
- Training is something spoken about but never seen.
- Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
- The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of acomplaint.
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.