- You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry
when your mother yells at you.
- Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a'76
- You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000
- Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all
- You consider dunking a pack of "S" cookies in milk a nutritious
- Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
- Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing
your "Just do me" tank top.
- At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
- All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
- A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.
- You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
- If someone in your family grown beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an
- There are more than 24 people in your bridal party.
- You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
- 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say, "Pronto," when answering
- You are offended when the wedding you attend serves fewer than 3 fish
- Of course you own more than 2 homes...
- You have an Un-Godly fear of wooden spoons.
- Someone in your family has a nickname after an ethnically Italian food(i.e.,
Pasta, Meatball, etc.).
- No matter how long you've been married, your wife "just can't make homemade
sauce like Mom did."